bright side girl.

I have a habit of ending almost every complaint or statement of feeling bad with a “but [silver lining or other mitigating statement].” It’s a holdover from growing up in a house that had a “don’t let it run your life/things could be worse” policy. It’s a good policy, and mostly it serves me well. Sometimes, though, I think I use that to lessen the impact of saying what I feel, either on me or the person to whom I’m talking. “Here’s what I’m feeling, but maybe I shouldn’t be feeling it” or “Here’s what I’m feeling but if that makes you uncomfortable or asks too much of you, here’s something nicer to look at.” I’d like to be able to edit Bright Side Girl better – still let her see the good things, but not use her for hiding.

Today seems like a good day to practice, because it hasn’t been a good day in general. I was in a car accident this morning. I’ve been in a hit and run that crumpled a fender before, but this was my first experience of one car hitting another and having to exchange information and go file a police report. Just so nobody reading this is worried, I’ll leave the Bright Side Girl part in, but put it first: Nobody was hurt, and the car seems undamaged. But what I’m left with today is feeling anxious and sad and lonely.

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