imperfect tense.

I have an abiding love for imperfection. Rust. Patches. The flaw in the carpet, the chip in the teacup. Scars. Entropy and decay. I think these things are beautiful, and they’re also a marker of where the story lies.

And yet, while I seek these flaws out and appreciate them, I have a much harder time embracing imperfections in myself. Lately, this is taking the form of fighting the scars from my surgery last summer. The scars from breast reduction take about two years to fully heal, which means that I still have over a year to go. They will never disappear completely, although most of them will fade to invisibility over that time. I took longer than normal to heal, and I have some imperfections and some scar tissue that aren’t ever going away. Some of that can probably be corrected with further surgery at some point, but it’s not something I can think about right now. So I’m struggling with accepting what I am, and I perform an endless cycle of reminders to self that I have exchanged the perfection of symmetry and no scars for the perfection of comfort and confidence and much better clothing and prettier bras. Eventually, I’ll assimilate these reminders and the shape of my own imperfection and love my breasts the same way I love broken noses and chipped enamel pots and plush with scrappy overstitching and Danny Trejo’s ruined face. 

Ok, maybe not exactly like I love Danny Trejo’s ruined face, because that’s almost a sacred thing. (What was I talking about?…)

In the meantime, I made something, because that’s what I do. Make something, then write about it. These earrings are made entirely with broken embellishments. Broken pendants, a flower missing a petal, a broken bone clasp, and a metal finding with a snapped solder joint. They’re also made with sterling silver chain, wire and hooks, and have been meticulously designed to hang straight. I love broken things, but I also love good work. 

I don’t know that I actually expect anyone to buy these, but I’m pleased with them and I think they’re beautiful. They’ll be listed at Leaves of Glass in this week’s shop update, along with a new pair of handcuffs, an anklet and several other pairs of earrings.

Nothing’s ever really what you think it’s going to be. But it’s all material, and it makes the story.

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