Ahem. We interrupt this Fox and Man conversation to bring you a sentence that is so good, it could only have been uttered in real life. 

I worked as a sub secretary at a school today. Within the first half hour of classes, a tall, lanky boy got into an altercation with a staff member. Leaping up out of his chair in the lobby, he thumped his chest and said, “I gotta whole playlist of inappropriate in me!”
I will never write anything that good. I’m just happy to let you know someone said it.

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